Crazy things to stop asking lesbians right now

“Do you like being gay?”
“No, I hate it. I just like to confuse people like you!”

As my first post for this beautiful project called Growing The Gay Up, I decided to stick up for all my lesbians out there!
I understand people are absolutely eager to know more about the mysterious L world.
But, lez be honest here… after reading the list below, tell me if you still see yourself in that position:

*all puns intended

1. How can you not like men?

I know, isn’t that crazy? I don’t understand how people can not like olives either but some people really don’t. They actually prefer thir pasta sauce completely boring without olives. And I just have to understand they don’t like olives. Just like I don’t like men. It’s quite simple, isn’t it?

2. So… how do you and your girlfriend have sex? (usually from female friend)

What if someone asks you: Hey! How do you f*** your husband? 

That sounds kind of off. If the conversation is about furniture, don’t just think it’s ok to ask how someone has sex with their own partner. Seriously.

3. You know what you call sex is just foreplay, don’t you?’

So you think lesbians have never had real sex. Ok, lez do the maths:
A study* with 52,000 participants reveals that 95% of straight men have an orgasm during sex. Just 65% of straight women have an orgasm. Whereas, 86% of lesbians have an orgasm.

You may say it’s not real, but it’s damn good!

*Differences in Orgasm Frequency by sexual preference in a U.S. National Sample

4. Can I watch? (usually from male jerk/friend)

Watch this:

Is it a common practice for anybody to watch their straight friends have sex? You see how crazy that sounds.
Maybe, this question need not be answered whatsoever and this “friend” should get the hell out of your life.

5. So who is the man in the relationship?

People, hello! Man? There’s no man. That’s the point, right? Lesbians like women.

6. You just haven’t found the right man yet

Answer to female friend: So, no girl has eaten you out really good, right? That’s why you’re straight.
Answer to male friend: Guess no guy has gotten you really good yet, right? That’s why you’re straight. Shame.
Does that make sense?

7. But you are so pretty…

So?

8. Do you wanna do me then? (female friend)

Lesbians are not animals in heat that just have to do it with anybody.

9. Do you peek in the locker room at the gym?

So, under this logic of yours: a male gynecologist must get turned on all the time, and he’s probably chosen his career just to be around pussy all day!
When lesbians go to a locker room is for a non-sexual reason. Lesbians take showers.

If you think of any other questions let me know in the comments below!

Hope you had fun and lez fight together for a world with less awkward moments for all of us.
Stay safe. See you next time!

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